why am I like that?

I get frustrated when I'm worried about something, and others get even more worried than I am. Especially when it involves me directly, or when it can only be solved through my own actions.

I think that since they can't help, I don't need them to add to my anxiety. So I react by pushing them away, rashly, denying their concern. Why am I like that?!

cravings

dimsum
korean bbq
oyster omelette, char kuay teow
belgian waffles
japanese food - sushi, ramen, soba, sashimi
steamboat!!!!!!!

who want buy me laoban tao huay?

vested interest

I want them to succeed, because I see their wholehearted effort, because they are my parents who are becoming skinnier in their bid to fulfill their dream.

I will try to help, as 二舅says: 自己的生意，不要怕丢脸。I shall use my actions to support them the best I can.

Would appreciate whatever help and support they can get. It is really amazing how a little encouragement can brighten their day.

乱

so shitty the mess, yet so tempting the offer. damn.

那些年..

Caught the movie with Gen today, and it's not bad. Kinda made me remember the days when liking someone was innocent and uncomplicated.

can you keep someone secretly locked away in your heart, while you hold another's hand? because having loved before, that special place that the someone occupies can never be replaced. but it doesn't make you love the current partner less. just that there is always regret that the timing was wrong, the people were too immature, all the reasons the relationship never worked out.

matters of the heart are always too complicated

old memories

ever since I've been home, I've been clearing my room and today it was just by random chance that I decided to look into my drawer.

Saw an old note from Evan, back in the days when we were DM&XM, passing notes to each other, writing emails. Saw old notebooks from Maths class. Saw the dark & light purple wrappers I saved from that bouquet you sent to my office.

我们曾经那样天真的开心自在。

2nd try

6 months probation starts on 28th nov. This shall help me decide: Was it the job nature that sucks, or it was just the company?

GM has high hopes and expectations for me, a bit de siao eh. i accept the job because my mum is gancheong, because even if i quit after x months, i still have money in the meantime.

omg, 7 months holiday is really ending.

do i have what it takes?

i have lost my mind. i applied for a job position in Canada. hahaha without even knowing what the job may be.

and i'm actually looking at this cos it's damn interesting. http://www.healyconsultants.com/careers/personal-assistant.html

siao eh.

爱你不是两三天

maybe i was weary of having to brave my way through the huge crowd at the MRT station. 还是我被宠坏了？走过夏日街头，还是想牵你的手。

我们分手了，所以没办法从新来过。虽然你还是最懂我的，默契还是最好的。

But being single, I gained a lot too. In a way, I feel so much happier too, instead of quarreling with you, missing you when I can't see you, being sad when we have so little time together.

I love my current independence, but I'm looking forward to meeting the next guy, loving him with all my heart, and daring to trust him with all my life, again.

time is a fascinating thing..

I know 6 months is not very long. But looking at the changes around, it is quite unbelievable that it's just 6 months, yet so much is different.

Restaurants can undergo renovation.
Malls can revamp their shop layout.
Hawker centres can be closed.
Weight can fluctuate.
Health can be affected.
Friends can grow apart.
Relationship statuses can change.

Knowing of all these above changes, I have been feeling surprised, worried, disappointed and happy, in no particular order.

But my attitude towards my ex-company is still the same. I will not go back, despite my mum's nagging at keeping my options open. Even if the market is bad, I see no need to subject myself to the agony I know I will definitely go through if I go back.

finding a job...

out of sheer randomness, I applied for a Process Engineer position at my previous customer's place, and Friday I have an interview. Thing is, I don't know is it a job I want. I don't really know the job description either. Just for the sake of warming up, getting back into the interview circuit.

Some things you don't forget in 6 months, or rather, however long it's given.

home!

回来的感觉真好。可能要离开，才会想念，才会珍惜。for now it feels good to be back, but soon, the urge to travel will gnaw at me again. =p

friends will always be different from family, the people linked by blood. one hug and i dissolve into a pile of tears. haha

you are home for me. this 5 words i saw from the in-flight movie made me cry too. too romantic la!